Pause, Priorities, & Purpose

Do you ever feel like the picture below?  Too many things (projects, ideas, tasks, relationships) going on at once?

balance

Me too!  There are seasons in all of our lives when we need to work really hard and multitask through it all to accomplish something.  But, there are also other seasons in which we need to PAUSE enough to evaluate our current PRIORITIES to make sure we are still on course with our PURPOSE in life.

Sometimes this means temporarily giving up things we enjoy to put more focus on the most important things.  For most of us, this moment becomes pretty obvious once we take on one more thing that threatens the balance of all of it.

Recently, my wife and I decided to take a huge step of faith and co-write our first book!  It will be about living a life of faith and healthy service in the Church while continuing to nourish a thriving marriage and home life.   Personally, I am also working, finishing up my Sociology degree online, and starting a church leadership consulting ministry.

Unfortunately, this means I need to take a break from blogging for a while. ¬†This blog is more for me than anyone else. ¬†It’s been like a journal. ¬†But for those who read it, I do encourage you to stay connected with me on social media. ¬†I’m much more active in these places anyway. ¬† The book is scheduled to be complete by the first part of 2017.

Follow me at Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Enough about me. ¬†What about you? ¬†Is your current balancing act going well, or are there ‘plates‘ as risk of crashing to the ground?

Please comment below or interact where you saw it posted.

 

photo credit: http://www.lcius.com 

 

 

Fat Guys & Entrepreneurs

I had a revelation today.  Fat guys who run are a lot like entrepreneurs!

Let me explain.

fat-man-running

I noticed a middle-aged man running this morning.  He looked like he was about 40 Р50 lbs overweight.  This was evident because parts of him were moving that really should not have been moving (if you know what I mean).

Amide this awkward moment, it dawned on me. ¬†He and I are a lot alike. ¬†Sure, I have a few extra pounds to lose too, but there was something else. ¬†He is obviously new to fitness and I’m new to the entrepreneur life. ¬†For this guy to lose weight he needs to stay motivated and committed daily. ¬†This applies to my entrepreneur efforts BIG TIME! ¬†And finally….good results come with time. ¬†He’s not going to lose 50 lbs over night, and I can’t expect to have a speaking / consulting opportunity every weekend right out of the gates.

It really is a combination of realistic expectations and diligent effort.

What are YOU working on right now? ¬†Do you struggle with staying motivated or unrealistic expectations? ¬†If so, you’re not alone.

Feel free to comment on this post below, or contact me at brentdumler@icloud.com if you might be interested in some personal coaching.

Let’s connect on Twitter, Instagram, Periscope, and Snapchat.

 

photo credit: macsstuff.net 

He Guides Us

Life…
It’s full of twists and turns
Strife…
We have so much to learn

But He guides!

This life is fascinating
Never the same
Opportunities abounding
The journey, never mundane

Because He guides!

Choices we face daily
Doors open and close
Tomorrow appears hazy
Which way must we go

Rest assured, He guides!

He is all-knowing
He will show us the way
Wherever the wind is blowing
His presence will not stray

He knows what’s best
For you and for me
Sometimes there will be tests
Wisdom never comes free

He guides us!

He guides us through it all
When we thrive and when we fall

In the morning
Late at night
When it’s storming
And when it all feels right

In all the joy and all the pain
His guiding hands constantly remain

He guides us!

                                                                            РBrent Dumler

Dear Hurting Pastor

This letter is dedicated to every church pastor who has ever felt burned out, been in a ‘funk’ and could not¬†get¬†out, lost the respect of your staff or board, or simply had the passion of your calling to ministry fade away. ¬†

Dear Lead Pastor,

I’m sorry. ¬†I’m sorry for all the 1:00 a.m. phone calls that took you away from you family too often. ¬†I’m sorry about all the ridiculous expectations the church placed on you for so many years. Having to appear at every single event throughout the year. ¬†Making yourself available 24/7 to EVERYONE for absolutely ANYTHING. ¬†I’m sorry for all those anonymous I’m displeased with your leadership notes you found under your office door on Mondays. ¬†I’m sorry you didn’t receive THANK YOUs and HUGS more often for the compassion you poured into people. ¬†I’m so very sorry that your kids witnessed an unpleasant, un-Christlike side of church and ministry while they were growing up. ¬†You probably did not get to witness first hand much of the fruit resulting from your ministry either…I’m sorry for that too. ¬†I’m sorry that no one in your church really knows what it is like being in your shoes.

I’m sorry the church placed you so high up on a pedestal that it seemed impossible to ever step down. ¬†You should have never been put there. ¬†That position is reserved for Jesus. ¬†He’s the only one who deserves to be there…who can withstand the pressures that exist there…and the only one the church needs to see up there.

In those empty, dry, and lonely seasons…I’m sorry no one in the church offered loving accountability to you. ¬†They should have given you a paid and structured Sabbatical. ¬†Offering to provide you with the right counseling, or even find you a mentor. ¬†Now that would have been helpful. ¬†I’m sorry that did not happen.

Pastor, mostly I am sorry that ministry work has put a bad taste in your mouth for the church. ¬†As someone who has experienced this with a handful of friends who were pastors, allow me to encourage you. ¬†The church is made up of flawed people, therefore, it is flawed. ¬†That’s just the way it is going to be until Christ returns. ¬†Pastors do not have direct control over the health of their church congregations, staff, and boards. ¬†But WE DO have 100% control of our own personal health and leadership.

hurtingpastor blog

Have you left the ministry? ¬†Or, have you been thinking about stepping out but haven’t quite taken the plunge yet?

Please hear me on this. ¬†If there is ANY amount of calling left on your life, stick with it…BUT make some changes. ¬†Take charge of leading by example. ¬†Be intentional about resting and recharging once a week. ¬†Empower others (staff and volunteers) to share the burden of hospital visits, speaking/teaching at small group gatherings and Bible studies, and even leading some team meetings. ¬†And for the love of all that is good and meaningful in the world, please find a mentor! ¬†Someone OUTSIDE of your church who is spiritually mature and will speak truth into you as a leader, husband, and father.

If the Lord has truly called you to ministry and others around you affirm that calling, then be obedient.  The church desperately needs healthy pastors.

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.  РGalatians 6:9

Blessings!

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Most Common Excuses Men Use For Not Leading Their Families

(Disclaimer) I have personally failed at this one more than I have done well.

The list below came from meeting with families in the church for over 20 years. ¬†And if I’m honest, many of these have been my own excuses as well. ¬†Do some self-evaluation with these. ¬†Can you relate to any of them?

  1.  I do!  I lead my family by working hard and providing for them financially.
  2. ¬†That’s my wife’s job. ¬†She’s home with the kids more than I am anyway.
  3. ¬†What if I fail? ¬†Things are OK now…why risk messing it up?
  4. ¬†I’m afraid that if I begin praying with my family and leading spiritual discussions it will be viewed as insincere.
  5. ¬†I wouldn’t even know where to start.
  6. ¬†I’m not spiritually mature enough to lead them.
  7. ¬†It was not modeled for me as a child. ¬†My father didn’t lead us spiritually, so I don’t even know what this looks like.

fathers

Now, experience tells me that if you are a husband or father reading this at least one of the above excuses describes where you’re at on the topic of leading your family spiritually. ¬†Am I right? ¬†Numbers 4 through 7 were¬†mine for many years, and I still wrestle with them now and then.

The good news!!!  

You can begin leading your family today as their spiritual guide…and you don’t have to get it perfect right from the start. ¬†Ha…those perfect moments are far and few between. ¬†But I’ll tell you this, its more about effort, heart, and obedience to our calling than perfection. ¬†If you can be OK with that mindset you can do this. ¬†Trust me!

Note: If you are interested in receiving personal coaching on this topic, feel free to contact me at BrentDumler@icloud.com.  I’ll custom taylor something to fit you and your family.

 

5 Ways To Ensure Getting Fired From Your Church

I’ve been in ministry for a long time, and thankfully I’ve never been fired from a church position. ¬†In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever been fired from any job.

That said, I’ve witnessed numerous friends/co-workers over the years lose their jobs. ¬†Some did not deserve it. ¬†Others, however, should have been let go but were not.

fired.001

Here are 5 things that can lead you to losing your position at your church:

  • Disregard for policies and procedures | Most people really hit the Student Pastor hard on this one, but I’ve seen all levels of leadership turn their nose up at P&Ps that they don’t personally agree with. ¬†They simply do their own thing. ¬†But it’s only a matter of time before this one bites you in the butt.
  • Poor time management | Some of us need to work on this more than others. ¬†Nevertheless, this can be viewed by some senior leadership as laziness. ¬†When we fail to manage our time well tasks tend to get done last minute and often poorly.
  • Lack of good people skills | We are in the people business. ¬†Church is made up of people. ¬†So, whether you work in pastoral staff or administrative support, knowing how to deal with all kinds of people and people issues is critical for all of us.
  • Disconnection with the mission and values | This is really big! ¬†Honestly, this is something we must consider and pray about before ever taking a position on a church staff. ¬†Mission and values ‘should’ be what guides and molds the direction of the church and all of it’s ministries.
  • Not a team player | Church really is a team sport. ¬†And churches that have individual ministry silos operating on their own with zero regard for what the rest of the church is doing……well, these churches become ineffective in achieving the Great Commission. ¬† They don’t have ¬†a Kingdom work mindset. ¬†Competition with other churches, as well as with their own church ministries, becomes commonplace.

There are MANY more things that can get us canned, but these are some of the most common that I’ve seen. ¬†What would you add to the list?

Leave a comment below.  I love hearing from my readers.  Thank you!