Tag: depression

Contentment Is Learned

I don’t make enough money. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Workplace negativity annoys me. Extreme social behaviors fueled by the pandemic often cause me to have ill feelings towards others.

Can you relate, or am I alone on this?

While all of these statements are true for me in my head, I also recognize that the magnitude of their truth only grows when I give it permission.

I don’t make enough money. Actually, I do. ‘Enough’ is relative. I have enough because God always provides for my needs. I may not have excess, but excess is not essential.

I didn’t get enough sleep last night. True…but I could have went to bed earlier. I wasn’t proactive.

Workplace negativity annoys me. Ok, so why don’t I choose to allow it to energize me to be an element for change toward more positivity?

Extreme social behaviors fueled by the pandemic often cause me to have ill feelings towards others. It is what it is. I’m not going to singlehandedly change societal behaviors, most of which are personal pet peeves anyway. I even talked with my therapist about this. (Yes I’m in therapy. Healthy people seek help while unhealthy people remain unhealthy in their solitude) She challenged me, “Why are you allowing others (strangers) to occupy so much of your limited emotional capacity?” Yeah, good question.

You see, all of these examples of mine are choices. Choices for action or mindset. Choosing to take the better path is usually more difficult and requires conscious effort. But we CAN do it!

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians‬ ‭4:11-13‬

The apostle Paul wrote this in one of his letters while imprisoned. He had learned to be content because of his past experiences, both of pain and joy. He shares that in every circumstance he has learned the ability to ‘do all things’ in order to live in contentment because of the strength made available to him through Jesus.

Now, you and I don’t always have the ability to change the circumstances around us. But we do have choices regarding how we model walking through them.

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I Don’t Like Wearing Pants!

Ok, let me explain.

Not wearing any pants is frowned upon in most parts of our society. But I’m talking about shorts! I love wearing shorts. They breathe, and are simply more comfortable than full-length pants.

pants

And today is the first day I’ve gotten to wear shorts after a very long, snowy winter here in central WA State. It’s a small thing, but it makes me very happy. And somehow putting my shorts on this morning reminded me of soul care.

Taking time to actually take care of you when needed is unfortunately viewed today (by some) as being selfish. But if we are careful and pay close attention to our physical, emotional, and spiritual health, we will quickly learn to recognize those moments that we need to change things up a bit.

What does that look like? It’s different for everybody. Take an afternoon nap on the couch. Read a good book at your favorite coffee shop. Go for a long walk. Take a trip to the beach or go camping.

My wife and I take a 24/hr Sabbatical every two months. We try to get out of town, go offline and off of social media, ignore our phones and email, pray, read, journal, and enjoy solitude. And for those of us who are believers, we can count numerous references in the Bible that instruct and model the practice of good soul care.

“Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” – 1 Kings 19:7  Sometimes the journey IS too much for us. So we must eat, drink water, regain our strength so we can continue moving forward.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” – Mark 1:35  We read about Jesus doing this often! He got alone and spent some quiet time with God. But it was a ‘solitary place.’ Jesus removed himself from people.

So, what’s the purpose in practicing comfort and soul care? I’ll tell you. It interrupts our chaotic rhythms of life so that hopefully we might rest and take honest inventory of ourselves. It’s like stepping off the football field and sitting down at Row 50 on the 50 yard line. That athlete has a better vantage point than the rest of the players on the field. He has stepped out of his current reality and into a place where he can see the bigger picture all at once.

Challenge: Take time to determine what your personal Soul Care plan might looks like. Or what it NEEDS to look like. Write it down, pick a date and time, and then make it happen!

I’d love to hear about your experience with this.  Join the discussion and LEAVE A COMMENT below.

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Are You Failing Today?

Living a life with Jesus doesn’t mean a life void of difficulty. Man, this is so true! In fact, at times it can feel as if it actually invites catastrophe. Of course, we know this is not the case. At the point that we step over into Christianity our eyes became opened. God’s light (truth) illuminates our world around us. We are now simply aware of the spiritual battles going on all around us that we were blind to before this new life.

So, how are we to journey through the multiple valleys, difficulties, and dark seasons of life as a person of faith? 

failure

Paul, the author of a significant portion of the New Testament, shared with us very authentically his own struggle in the faith.

But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?  Romans 7:17-24 (MSG) 

Can you relate? I know I can. You’re not alone! Every one of us struggle. And still, God used Paul as a major catalyst in the early Church. Paul’s last questions here are a bit poetic. He’s not completely hopeless as it appears. Let’s continue reading.

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. Romans 7:25 (MSG)

The power of Jesus resides within us. When we stay closely connected to him he gives us the strength, direction, fortitude, and endurance to do the good we desire to do, and turn from the distractions of the enemy.

I’d love to hear what you think and how I can pray for you. Leave a comment below.

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9 Months After Moving To Colorado

Well, it’s been 9 months since we moved to Colorado Springs from Georgia.  There has been A LOT that has happened in that short window of time.  This has been the most difficult stage of my life in 25 years of marriage and ministry…hands down!   A few months ago I wrote a post about taking a break from blogging for a season.  I’m still not blogging regularly until December, but I felt compelled to post this update.

Colorado Springs is amazing!  It is beautiful, has very few bugs, and virtually zero humidity.  I see the majestic Pikes Peak every day…multiple times a day.  But simply living in a beautiful place doesn’t necessarily make the experience beautiful.

cropped-pikes-peak-lg.jpg

You see, when we moved to Colorado I left behind a son, an incredible church family, and a ministry career that had become my identity.  I didn’t know it while traveling across the country in a 26 foot U-Haul truck, but I was about to spend the next 3 months lost, confused, and depressed.

First, the family unit split in two.  We originally thought we were just moving with our youngest two sons.  Then just hours before hitting the road our oldest child asked to move with us.  This is her story so I’ll allow her to tell it on her own another time.  But this is a huge reason God led us to Colorado.

Our oldest son had a career and friends in GA and decided to get his own place and stay there.  My wife and I blessed his choice to stay, but I really struggled (honestly, I still am) moving without him.  I guess it’s a natural part of the whole ’empty nesting’ thing….but it really sucks!

Once we arrived here, I began working at a popular coffee shop.  Every coffee-lover’s dream job, right?  I have also been working hard to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology online.  After working there for about a month or so, I hit a wall.  For 2-3 weeks I remember feeling anxious and emotional driving to work.  There were even a few times I had to pray that God would strengthen me to overcome the flood of tears so I could perform like a ‘normal’ barista.  Those tears were sure to come later in solitude moments in my bedroom.  One evening here, another there…just me and Jesus.  Real men do cry, so don’t judge.

It was in this brief season that I realized that I had allowed ministry (being a pastor) to become my entire identity.  Loss of title, income, and the comfort of knowing a job well.  When you’ve done nothing besides pastoring full-time for over 20 years it’s not the easiest thing to transition out of that world and into retail coffee at 45 years old.

Slowly, I began to realize that God had me in a new, very specific, season on purpose.  First and foremost, I was to enjoy really being there for my wife and kids without the demanding work schedule of ministry.  Second, He was aligning  co-workers and customers at the coffee shop for me to interact with…to live my faith out for them.

In March of 2016 I had the honor of speaking at a Children’s Pastors conference in Kentucky.  This was a true gift directly from the hand of God to me.  He knew I needed this.  I loved it!  I got to share my ministry experiences with young leaders, and then encouraged them after each talk.  This rekindled a fire for ministry in me.

Yes, we left an amazing church in Georgia, but God led us to another one.  (we thought this would be impossible).  My wife, Cailey, is serving PT on staff there now working with kids and equipping leaders.  I am volunteering in the Connect ministry to help people discover a meaningful and fulfilling place of service in God’s community.

Most recently, the Lord provided me with a new job working with a medical bill sharing ministry.  Another new experience, but I’m trusting God in it completely.  Cailey and I have also begun co-writing our first book.  We welcome your prayers with this.

What does He have in store for me in the next 5-10 years?  I don’t have a clue and I’ve given up trying to figure it out ahead of time.  I used to have this quote hanging in my church office.  Now it is mounted above our couch in the living room.

“The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.”

This has proven to be true in my life and I’m confident it will be in yours as well.  My Jesus is faithful, he knows what he’s doing, and he really does care more about my personal success and happiness than I ever can.

Here’s to another year of adventure, obedience, and remaining in Him!

 

 

3 Things To Do While Sitting In Darkness

We’ve all been there before.  Those events or periods of life that feel like you’re sitting all alone in a pitch dark room.

Maybe you’re there today.  Personally, I’ve been in and out of that room for the past 5 months.

So what do we do when we’re in that place?

Here are some words from the prophet, Micah…

When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.  |  Micah 7:8b

Light

When you’ve been in a dark place, a light can be very welcoming.  It can also expose things around us for what they are, changing our perception of what we assumed they were in the dark.

3 suggestions on what we can do when we’re in those dark places.

Look | Expect it to arrive.  Constantly be on the lookout for that LIGHT.  Because if we’re not watching for it, we are likely to miss it initially because we have our face in out hands stuck in our misery.  We can enjoy the relief that come with the light sooner if we are searching and expecting it.

Hope | Can you get a sense for the hope Micah has in his words?  “The Lord will be a light to me.”  He does not say, ‘is.’  He’s fully expecting something that is not yet the case.  Likewise, you and I need to have something to look foreword to while we sit in that cold, dark place.

Know | This is where faith and a good portion of spiritual maturity come in.  Micah KNEW the Lord was eventually going to shine light on his situation.  He also knew that he had to work on his own STUFF in the meantime.  Sometimes we find ourselves in this dark room because of actions or choices WE have made.  But…sometimes we’re there because of things OTHERS have done.

Today, I’m in that dark place.  God, however, is shining a flood light around me.  Even though there is darkness right now, his light is allowing me to stay active, see Him, and remain focused on finding the EXIT DOOR.

How about you?  Where are you today?  I’d love to journey with you.  Leave a comment below.

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